Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Season Preview

Well the season is starting two days and what would any respectable Habs blog be without a season preview? I know my blog is not respectable, but let's pretend for the sake of appearances....also my In-Laws are coming in from out of town and I need to look good.

Experts are predicting a high and low season for the Habs. The general consensus is that we will finish in 8th place.

I beg to differ.

I think we'll finish anywhere between 6th and 8th.

Boom.

We have an interesting roster with a lot of 'ifs'. Here is my expert roster breakdown previewing several key players for the 2010-2011 season.

Season Preview

Benoit Pouliot

The Good: He will always be viewed as a better player than Latendresse.
The Bad: He’s not better than Latendresse.
Habs Laughs Fearless Prediction: Will change his last name because he hates being called a chicken.

Andrei Kostitsyn

The Good: With his brother gone he doesn’t have to split the cut from the mob anymore.
The Bad: Not a good thing when your IQ is the same as your jersey number.
Habs Laughs Fearless Prediction: Will have a ‘Burrows’ season and rack up the points because he’s playing next to Cammalleri and Plekanec.

Mike Cammalleri

The Good: Is a pretty level headed guy; doesn’t let rookies get to him.
The Bad: Hates ankles.
Habs Laughs Fearless Prediction: Will not score against the Toronto Maple Leafs until November 20th.

Andrei Markov

The Good: Became a Canadian citizen over the summer.
The Bad: His eyes are closed in his passport picture.
Habs Laughs Fearless Prediction: Will be one of the NHL’s best defensemen according to the experts, but will not get a Norris nomination for the 9th consecutive year.

Carey Price

The Good:
Ready to do whatever it takes to prove the experts and fans wrong.
The Bad: Crippling fear of small rubber disks.
Habs Laughs Fearless Prediction: Vezina Trophy.

Jaroslav Spacek

The Good: Started taking baby Aspirin to help prevent Heart Attacks.
The Bad: It’s really hard to skate with ‘Depends’ on.
Habs Laughs Fearless Prediction: By the end of the season, his visor will cover his entire face. He’ll never wear a cage though…that’s for pussies.


Alex Auld

The Good: Media and fanbase have zero expectations for him coming into this season.
The Bad: He’s terrible.
Habs Laughs Fearless Prediction: Will start against the New York Islanders at least once.

Brian Gionta


The Good:
Fancy new C on his jersey.
The Bad: Will probably have to play with Pouliot for the majority of the season.
Habs Laughs Fearless Prediction: Will miss all the games at the ACC because Brian Burke just implemented a ‘you must be *THIS* tall to play against us’ rule.

Scott Gomez

The Good: Rich as hell.
The Bad: Will probably have to play with Pouliot for the majority of the season.
Habs Laughs Fearless Prediction: Will quit Hockey and become Sarah Palin’s running mate in 2012.

Lars Eller

The Good:
Will get top 6 minutes as a result of management trying to justify the
Halak trade.
The Bad: Kind of Albino looking. A bit creepy.
Habs Laughs Fearless Prediction: Will get traded in 2 years. Will score 40 goals for his new team. Probably Tampa.

Maxim Lapierre

The Good:
Nowhere to go but up after last season.
The Bad: Will probably go down.
Habs Laughs Fearless Prediction: Will score one nice goal every 20 games.

Josh Gorges

The Good:
Living proof that Bob Gainey made at least one good trade.
The Bad: His contract with the Devil only covers two more pucks to the head with no consequence.
Habs Laughs Fearless Prediction: Will be the first person ever to talk the ref out of giving him a penalty.

Hal Gill

The Good: Won over the Fans after showing how useful he can be during the playoffs.
The Bad: Upset at the fact that he was never able to do that before when he played for Toronto.
Habs Laughs Fearless Prediction: Will have the opportunity to hit someone, but won’t.

Ryan O’Byrne

The Good: Over 82 games without scoring on his own net!
The Bad: He spent 73 of those 82 games in the press box.
Habs Laughs Fearless Prediction: Will get traded for a shorter, older defenseman.

Tomas Plekanec

The Good:
Is probably the Habs best all-around player.
The Bad: Is probably the Habs best all-around player.
Habs Laughs Fearless Prediction: Will probably get hit by a bus. Habs fans have no luck.

P.K. Subban

The Good: Has it all, a star in the making.
The Bad: Racism: http://thesocietypages.org/thickculture/files/2010/03/500x_subbanator-11-400x300.jpg
Habs Laughs Fearless Prediction: Calder, Norris, Hart trophies. In my NHL 11 dynasty.

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